How do you spot signs of jealous female coworkers? And how should you handle jealous coworker behavior?
This comprehensive guide reveals how to identify and deal with jealous women at the office.
Having to work alongside a jealous coworker is an unpleasant and stressful situation for anyone.
But when that envious colleague is a woman, the cattiness and competitiveness can become especially pronounced.
Female jealousy manifests in indirect aggression and passive-aggressive behaviors meant to undermine you.
Left unaddressed, office jealousies can lead to a toxic environment.
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Common Signs of Jealous Female Coworkers
Women express jealousy in discreet ways that are sometimes hard to pinpoint.
Here are 30 telling signs female coworkers are extremely jealous of you:
1. Gossiping About You
A clear red flag of jealousy is if she frequently gossips about you to coworkers. She may spread rumors or confidential information to portray you negatively.
2. Sabotaging Your Efforts
She may deliberately sabotage projects you work on together by withholding information, giving misleading directions, or denying requests.
3. Claiming Credit for Your Work
Jealous coworkers often claim responsibility for accomplishments, ideas, or efforts that were clearly yours. They can’t stand you getting recognition.
4. Downplaying Your Success
When you do receive praise or succeed, she makes minimizing comments like “It wasn’t that great” or “Anyone could have done that.”
5. Overcompetitive Attitude
A jealous woman views the office as a competition and you as their rival. They feel threatened by you.
From lunch outings to happy hours, she conveniently ‘forgets’ to invite you to coworker social events.
7. Unfair Criticism
A jealous coworker often nitpicks or singles out insignificant things to criticize you over. Their comments seem disproportionate.
8. Acting Annoyed Around You
They huff, roll their eyes, and otherwise act perturbed when you talk or make suggestions during meetings.
9. Talking Over You
Jealous colleagues interrupt or talk over you when you are speaking. They don’t want others hearing your ideas.
10. Withholding Information
A surefire symptom of envy is deliberately withholding important information from you that impedes your ability to do your work.
11. Making Snide Remarks
Sarcastic, snide, or passive-aggressive comments are common from jealous coworkers. It allows them to take jabs while maintaining plausible deniability.
12. Appearing Bored When You Talk
Yawning, looking at their phone, or otherwise acting disinterested when you speak shows their resentment.
13. Taking Credit for Your Concepts
They listen closely whenever you share innovative concepts or business ideas. Later, you hear them presenting those same ideas to management as their own.
14. Lying to Make You Look Bad
Jealous individuals have no qualms lying to cast you in a negative light and make themselves look better.
15. Acting Fake Toward You
A jealous female coworker may act polite and friendly to your face but then bash or sabotage you behind your back. Their niceness is fake.
16. Mimicking You
Some jealous women copy your mannerisms, style, communication patterns, and other quirks. They want to be you.
17. Invading Your Personal Space
In an attempt to make you uncomfortable, they stand uncomfortably close, touch your belongings, or disregard personal boundaries.
18. Trying to Outdo You
She goes out of her way to ensure she performs better than you, gets chosen for high-profile projects and has better ideas.
19. Complaining You Have it “Too Easy”
Jealous coworkers resent you getting noticed for your work. They often claim you have advantages or special treatment.
20. Making Backhanded Compliments
When they compliment you, it comes with an insulting qualifier like saying you’re “not bad at your job, considering how you lack experience.”
21. Minimizing Their Mistakes and Your Strengths
Your jealous colleague rationalizes away their poor decisions while brushing off your skills as no big deal.
22. Overcompensating Around You
A jealous coworker abruptly changes their behavior when you’re around in an attempt to seem confident and hide their insecurities.
23. Getting Defensive Easily
Jealousy stems from low self-esteem. As a result, envious coworkers are hypersensitive to perceived criticism.
24. Making Things Unnecessarily Competitive
Collaborative projects with this person quickly turn into competitions with one “winner.” They have to best you.
25. Angling for Your Job
Extremely jealous individuals go beyond competing with you to actively pursuing your job or promotion.
26. Excluding You from Opportunities
She ensures you aren’t included in important meetings, events, committees, projects, etc. that could help you succeed.
27. Cultivating Ties with Leadership
Your jealous coworker cozies up to bosses and those in power. She knows being in their favor means being able to undermine you.
28. Overmonitoring You
Excessively checking on your work, micromanaging you, or hovering around your desk shows her distrust and resentment.
29. Displaying Obvious Favoritism
As a superior, she blatantly favors the colleagues who aren’t a threat over you. Or she befriends your direct reports.
30. Celebrating Your Failures
When you mess up or don’t succeed, this person makes sure everyone knows it. They take pleasure in your missteps.
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How to Handle a Jealous Female Coworker
Dealing with a jealous coworker’s underhanded attacks and resentment requires finesse. Here is a 5-step approach:
1. Don’t Retaliate
As tempting as it is to sink to their level, don’t. Retaliating makes you seem petty too. Take the high road.
2. Set Firm Boundaries
Don’t share personal details. Keep interactions professional and work-focused only. Shut down nosy questions or attempts to get personal.
3. Confront Tactfully
Politely but firmly call out inappropriate behavior like insults, lies, or credit-stealing when it happens. Don’t tolerate it.
4. Keep Written Records
Note incidents of sabotage, insulting remarks etc. in a journal. This creates a paper trail if things escalate.
5. Involve Management
If jealous behavior persists despite confronting her, present your documentation to management. Let them address it.
Conclusion
From gossip to credit stealing, jealous female coworkers have many signs of attacking your standing at work.
Female jealousy in particular, uses indirect, passive-aggressive tactics that can be difficult to handle professionally.
While maintaining composure and rising above envy can be challenging, avoiding retaliation and involving management at the right time can help control the situation.
With the above signs to look for and tips to mitigate envy, you can defend your reputation and succeed despite jealous coworkers.
Just remember that her resentment ultimately stems from her own lack of self-confidence, not your strengths.
Keep performing well and seek support from others. With the right strategy, jealous behaviors don’t have to derail your workplace happiness or career progression.
Frequently Asked Questions
How Do I Remain Professional Around an Openly Hostile Jealous Coworker?
It’s critical to take the high road and not sink to her level. Avoid gossiping, backstabbing, and unethical retaliation.
Be unfailingly polite and professional in your interactions. Don’t give her legitimate reasons to undermine you.
What if Her Jealous Behavior Borders on Harassment?
If a coworker’s envy manifests in potentially harassing acts like insults, sabotage, or alienation, alert your company’s HR department promptly. Organizations take harassment seriously.
Should I Avoid Interacting With a Jealous Coworker?
Keeping interactions cordial but minimal is wise. Don’t confide in them or provide personal ammo.
But don’t completely avoid them, as it can hinder productivity. Just be cautious about what you say and do around them.
How Do I Defend Myself Against False Accusations From a Jealous Coworker?
Politely but firmly refute any lies or mischaracterizations. Back up your side with facts.
Point out how long you’ve worked there without issues as proof of your strong performance and ethics.
Can I Mend the Relationship With a Jealous Coworker or Is It Impossible?
In some cases, careful attempts to repair the relationship may work. Show empathy and appeal to common ground.
But many jealous workers are impossible to appease. Don’t waste too much energy trying to win them over.
Should I Be Honest With a Jealous Coworker About How Their Behavior Looks?
Only if you have an otherwise positive relationship built on trust and mutual respect. Even then, tread very carefully.
Jealous people don’t take criticism well due to low self-esteem. Avoid making things worse.
Is Jealous Behavior More Common Among Female Coworkers or Males?
Women tend to express jealousy indirectly through gossip, exclusion, and other passive-aggressive tactics.
Men are more inclined to overt competitiveness. Both genders experience workplace jealousy, but it manifests differently.
What if My Boss Favors a Jealous Coworker Over Me?
Make your case by emphasizing the contributions you’ve made to the team and organizational success.
Stick to facts. Avoid badmouthing the envious colleague or making it personal. Position yourself as an asset the company would suffer to lose.
How Do I Build My Confidence Around a Brazenly Jealous Coworker?
Focus on your own goals rather than comparing yourself to her. Surround yourself with positive coworkers who boost your self-assurance.
Don’t let others determine your worth. Remember that her envy reflects her own insecurities.
