Can you use a friend as a reference? The answer to this question is not straightforward; all you need to know is in this article.
Asking for a referral can be awkward, so it’s easy to turn to a friend. But is asking a friend your best option? Let’s analyze to see if this is acceptable or not.
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What the experts say
Generally speaking, you shouldn’t use a friend as a professional reference if you have never worked together. While they can potentially be a personal reference and attest to certain soft skills like your reliability and work ethic, your best friend is usually not someone you want to provide recruiters to as a professional reference. That’s because your opinion will not carry nearly the same weight as that of a former boss or manager, and a recruiter may not take your opinion as seriously.
The exception
However, it is important to note that there is an exception when you consider that it is okay to use your best friend as a professional reference. And that’s whether the person was your former manager or currently works for the company you are applying to. In this case, they can legitimately claim their knowledge and skills, and a recruiter is likely to take their feedback seriously.
Ask a friend to be a reference
If your best friend meets these criteria and you want to use them, there are some tips to follow. First, be sure to ask them if they are comfortable being a professional reference, and if so, let them know that you are using them as such. Second, take the time to share the job description with them and suggest some relevant skills that they should mention that relate to the position. Third, be sure to thank them for helping you. This will make them more willing to return to being a professional reference in the future.
The bottom line
Ideally, you will not use your best friend as a professional reference because there are other people who are a better fit. That being said, there are a couple of scenarios where this is doable. As long as you have worked together at a time when your friend was your manager, or if they are currently employed by the company you are applying to, this is considered acceptable. If you decide to go this route, you must follow the proper etiquette, which will increase your chances of making a positive impression on your recruiter and ultimately landing the job you are applying for.
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8 best people to use for reference rather than a friend
Keep these eight people in mind when making your reference list:
1. Recent bosses
Current or former employers speak best about your work ethic. Leaving your boss off your reference list gives the impression that there is a reason you don’t want your future employer to contact her.
Explain why you did not include your employer if you left him off your list of references. Maybe you don’t want your boss to know that you are looking for a new job. Regardless, include at least one person from your current job.
2. Co-workers
If you don’t get along with your boss, use a co-worker who is familiar with your work and has worked directly with you. A friend from work who doesn’t understand your job responsibilities won’t give you the professional reference you need.
3. Teachers
Professors who teach in a field related to the job you are applying for make great references, and most are happy to help. However, your teacher may not be comfortable acting as your reference if they have not met you personally. Make an effort to ensure that the teacher you respect knows you as more than a face in the classroom.
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4. Friends, only if they are a professional reference
Most of the time, leave your friends off your referral list.
There are two occasions when it is acceptable to use a friend as a reference:
They are currently employed by the company you are applying to.
They were her supervisor.
5. Group members
You probably worked on semester group projects while finishing your degree. Use your group members as references if the project turned out great.
6. Anywhere you’ve volunteered
The people you are volunteering for are likely willing to be your reference. Plus, volunteering impresses hiring managers. It shows your willingness to go beyond what is expected of you. Additionally, volunteering increases your chances of being hired by 27 percent, according to the June 2013 Volunteering as a Path to Employment report from the National and Community Service Corporation.
7. The person you cared for or whose grass you cut each summer
Think about the odd jobs you had while in high school and when you came back from college. A reference you’ve known for years lets employers know the consistency of your work ethic.
8. High school teacher or coach you still talk to regularly
Use a high school teacher or coach you’ve been in contact with over the years if you have few references. Teachers and coaches often act as mentors throughout high school and into early adult life.
Difference between personal and professional references
We spend most of our waking hours at work, so it makes sense that our co-workers often become friends. If that’s the case, you can use your friend as a professional reference, that is, one who attests to the quality of your work. If your friend is currently or previously your manager, direct report, or colleague, they may be able to provide you with a professional reference.
On the other hand, if you’ve never worked together, your friend may be able to provide a personal reference. These references refer to character, work ethic, dependability, etc., all the personal qualities that make someone a great employee, tenant, board member, etc.
Who to ask for a referral
Do not use recent acquaintances or anyone who does not know you well. Don’t ask your spouse or family for a reference; the hiring manager will assume that your family has only positive things to say about you.
How to know if they will be a good reference
Good friends don’t automatically make good referrals. Remember that you are not only looking for someone who has a high opinion of your work, although that is essential, but also someone who can explain why you feel the way you do.
The hiring manager won’t think less of you because someone likes you so much, but they won’t necessarily think more of you either – their goal is to hire someone who can do the job, not find a new best friend.
